Overcoming the ‘Beast’ and Becoming the Hunter
Updated: Apr 5, 2019
Prior to attending The Battle Within (TBW) my life journey was rough and aimless.
While serving on Active Duty I suffered a mental break down. It wasn’t one that came out of the blue like a freight a train; No, it was slow, elusive and persistent. I told myself, if I could keep my job in order that was a sign I was defeating ‘the beast’. Months later, my psychologist requested that both myself and my spouse visit him together. Quite unexpectedly, within moments of that meeting, I was off to a behavior health facility for an outpatient program.
I was angry, alienated, and blinded by the notion I needed help. I didn't want to recognize that although my job performance was superior, my family life was not... I had let it slip while trying to stay afloat. Six weeks later, I left the outpatient program with a diagnosis, and was finally able to label my ‘beast’. Unfortunately, the tools the facility provided to help improve my mood, thoughts, and behavior and fight my ‘beast’ didn’t work for me. I assume this is because I never got to test them or put them into action in a safe controlled environment before returning to the rigors of daily life. Instead, I fell back into the rut of having panic attacks, or lashing out at my son, or leaving the house in fear for the safety of my loved ones. This continued for months. No matter what tool I tried to employ, each good day seemed to continuously be over shadowed by one small, yet epic minute of destruction. I couldn’t seem to break the cycle or make any headway. I was emotionally blind and extremely angry. Moreover, through all of this I’m surprised my Wife didn’t leave me.
Then a fellow sister-in-arms reached out to me, my friend, Mel. Mel recognized my various struggles. She regularly lent an ear and provided encouragement, but things weren’t getting better. One day Mel told me about a program that she felt gave people real tools to fight back with. She explained that the program offered a safe place to sleep, to learn how to meditate, relate with others who’ve been a similar spot, and most importantly I’d learn how to effectively armor myself for “battle” in order to take back my life.
Enter The Battle Within. This organization is inexplicably difficult to describe. Imagine arriving to a nice log cabin conference room, and being surrounded by a bunch of strangers smiling at you. You’re standing there, discontent, tense and wondering why they won’t stop trying to hug you, why they are being so nice… and what their problem is. It’s a funny thing… admitting that you’re the one with the problem and that there are people out there who not only empathize but truly want to see you heal, and won’t judge you in the process of doing so.
I understood I had gone to TBW of my own free will… but I’d been through the ringer, I was tired, and felt beaten. To top it off I had no idea what the “Revenant” would involve, and the not knowing was eating away at me. However, by the end of the first day, I realized I wasn’t dealing with a “snake oil” sales person, or someone from the headshop sent to ”help”. These were real, qualified people who have walked the same walk. They not only showed the group SIMPLE, time tested ways to calm down, but then we practiced it… and got to watch the mentors do it on-the-daily themselves. The provided vital lessons on how to reconnect with ourselves and families.
I have been around the block when it comes to seeking help mentally and spiritually. Nothing cut nearly as deep, or as fast, as The Battle Within. After five days of being surrounded by gifted teachers, leaders, mentors and brothers, I truly felt ready to reclaim my life. No longer was I being hunted by the ‘beast’; I’d become the hunter.
If you're sick of being stuck in the same daily struggle, fighting with your family, constantly angry or all of the above, sign up for the Revenant Journey! You won’t regret it.
- Josiah, TBW Cohort #001
Each warrior faces their own battles as a result of their service to their nation and community. The Battle Within recognizes the importance of not fighting those battles alone. Our organization - founded by over 100 veterans, first responders, community leaders and supporters - has come together to build a community for warriors nationwide to attend a free, 5-day program built by warriors using holistic healing techniques steeped in ancient warrior culture and backed by modern evidence based methods. Learn more about attending the free 5-day Revenant Journey here: https://www.mybattlewithin.org/program